Monday, June 29, 2009

Who ya gonna call?

Someone overlooked the need to keep this potent mixture (M&S orange and raspberry juice) in the fridge. The ectoplasm got the walls, ceiling, carpet, curtains, duvet cover, sheet, pillowcase and spare blanket. It took 45 minutes to exorcise. But if you look carefully, there's plenty left for later.

Seen in the supermarket, fun-sized version of the fizzy drink called Irn-Bru.

Best comment on it was, "Once you've emptied it, you can fill it back up yourself".
I'd be off to the doctor if I was peeing that colour.


  1. Imagine what it does to you once you eat it!

    As for the Irn Bru, I miss that. There is nothing else in the world even similar to it.

  2. Now I live in Scotland and I've never seen a Wee Bru! Rather cute I think but having experienced Irn Brus properties in permanently dying anything it comes into contact with I'd say it would be no problem to wee that colour after drinking it - good stuff though, the Irn Bru, not the wee.x

  3. Oh my goodness! That is actually quite funny, although it probably wasn't at the time! It reminds me of the day the builders had finally finished a six week renovation of the exterior of my house that turned into six months. I was really fed up with them and just wanted them to go after lots of problems, but the house was looking lovely all newly painted. I needed to pop out just after they'd gone, I reversed down the driveway and heard a large explosion, followed by a shower of brown stuff all over my jeep, the drive and right up the front of the house.

    The builders had left a large tin of brown masonary paint on the driveway and I'd run it over and it had blown up, whoops was a good word to describe it, along with the following two weeks for them to remove it and repaint that part of the house.

  4. As I was scraping the vile stuff off the ceiling, a blob detached itself and landed on my pink tee-shirt. Yeuch. Turning round to climb down, I caught sight of a beam that had been coated in it. The blast that had hit the beam would have made the room even more of a catastrophe zone. But if you look carefully, most of the contents are still in the bottle!

    Henry - love the story about the paint. But I guess it didn't seem quite so funny at the time either!

  5. This reminds me of the "flying custard" incident in a local pub, where the waitress dropped my bowl of spotted dick and custard right by our table. The bowl landed the right way up, the pudding dropped back into it and the custard went upwards, missing us but coating the walls, ceiling, barman and the beautiful camel coat of a lady who had just walked in. We laughed but she didn't see the funny side........

  6. Sorry, but I must ask what is "spotted dick and custard".....

  7. Well, the French called it the Italian disease and the Italians called it the French disease ...

    But here in Britain, we know that it's a completely delicious, calorie laden, totally sinful pudding. Not a dessert, not a sweet but a proper pud. The sort of thing that makes cold winter days so wonderful.

    Spotted dick and custard clearly hasn't crossed the Atlantic, though properly made it could probably do so single-handedly.

    The Hitchhikers' Guide (Hitchhikers' Guide) has the following contribution.

    Spotted Dick - A traditional English Dessert, with a Custard Sauce

    (A steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit)

    The Dough (dick)

    This should be a suet1 dough, though many recipes leave out the suet, and may substitute 4 oz. margarine.

    8 oz. of self raising flour
    -- If you are not using self-raising flour, add 1 tablespoon baking powder and 3/4 teaspoon salt
    1/8 teaspoon of salt
    6 oz. of shredded or finely chopped, rendered suet
    -- To render, cook suet over a moderately low heat, for about 20 minutes, until it is melted and clear and cracklings are golden.
    Run it through a sieve into a bowl, and cool.
    Chill until it is firm and white.
    -- Covered and chilled, it will keep for a week.
    0 to 6 oz. of white-bread breadcrumbs (one of the many variables)
    4 oz. of sugar: caster, extra-fine, superfine, or 10x
    4 oz. to 6 oz. combined sultanas2, raisins3, or currants4 (other dried fruit can be substituted according to taste and/or allergies)
    1 lemon rind, grated or zested
    5 to 10 tablespoons of milk or water - normally about 10 tbsp milk for a recipe this size.
    Combine the flour, sugar, (baking powder, and salt) in a mixing bowl or food processor.
    Add the shredded suet until the mixture resembles coarse-ground meal.
    Add the bread crumbs, dried fruits, and grated or zested lemon, and stir.
    In a bowl (not the food processor), drizzle in the milk and stir with a fork until incorporated. Knead until a slightly sticky dough is formed.
    Roll the dough into a cylinder (it should still be slightly sticky).
    Wrap in a single layer of foil, brushed with butter (or a double thickness of grease proof paper), and seal. An alternate version calls for wrapping the dough in cheesecloth.
    Traditionally, the dough should be steamed for 1.5 - 2.0 hours, but the cheesecloth version is boiled in water for about the same period.
    The Custard Sauce

    2 cups whole milk
    9 large egg yolks
    1/2 cup sugar
    a pinch of salt
    Bring milk to a boil in a 3 or 4 quart, heavy saucepan; remove from heat.
    Beat yolks, sugar, and the pinch of salt in a mixing bowl and whisk the hot milk in a slow stream.
    Pour back into the pan and cook over moderately low heat, stirring constantly, until slightly thickened (77°C [170°F] would be good).
    Pour through a fine sieve into a pitcher.
    Covered and chilled, it will keep for two days.
    Serve warm.
    Makes up to ten servings.

    You can, of course, take the straightforward method and enjoy it in a lovely country pub.

  8. Oh my gosh, every few days something comes out about the people I have "chosen" as the ones I read all the time.....I loved the Hitchhikers' Guide Series, finished them and turned around and read them all again.

    Thank you for the receipe. I have it copied and pasted. As soon as it drops under 97 degrees here I'm going to give it a go. Sort of remindes me of bread pudding.


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